Do we expect too much of the grandparents?

It is a busy time of year, I don't think anyone will argue that.

Last weekend alone we had a preschool concert, Christmas Markets, Little Athletics, a Christmas tree lighting, a Christmas party and more. I'm sure your calendar would have looked similar.

I know none of these events are compulsory, but they are all important for different reasons.

I invited my parents out to watch the four-and-a-half-year-old sing at the preschool concert and dance at the Christmas markets.

They loved it. But by Sunday when they escaped early in the morning, they were absolutely exhausted.

I get it, I'm tired too. (I haven't slept properly in four-and-a-half years, funnily enough).

But this is my life, this is the pace of it, it escalates a notch or two the weeks before Christmas, but it's not too far out of our regular scope of busy-ness.

My parents though, are in their 60s, both semi-retired and very social, but also love their downtime, their quiet time and a good eight to 10 hours of sleep a night.

Luckily for all of us, they can dip in and out of the hecticness of raising toddlers (and take a well-earned week or two of respite).

This was not always the case.

When my daughter was 12 months old we were looking at me returning to work. Our only option was for my parents to have my daughter one or two days a week. It wasn't an ideal solution, but with only one childcare centre in my little town and a long waiting list, it seemed to be a solution.

I got lucky, we had six months of the unknown. During this time I would wait anxiously to find out if she had a casual day at the centre, before we'd weigh up whether it was worth me driving the 300 plus kilometres to my parents.

It was a difficult time. But thankfully short-lived. We got very lucky and got a permanent spot. I was able adjust to work, mostly hassle-free (sickness and Covid lockdowns aside). But I acknowledge, this was pure luck. Right place, right time scenario.

My parents never had to commit to looking after my kids on a long-term permanent or semi-permanent basis.

But we seem to be an exception, not the rule. The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports two in five grandparents reported they provided some care to grandchildren, especially if their youngest grandchild was under 10 years old. I'm not talking about one-off date nights or the odd day of work, these grandparents are more likely to provide childcare once or more a week.

I know this is not normally a chore for grandparents. A lot of them dote on their grandkids and love hanging out with them.

But these grandparents, the ones who have raised their kids and are now meant to be able to kick back and spoil the grandkids, are picking up the slack in the "childcare deserts". Which, is a large portion of the Central West of NSW.

A recent study from Victoria University identified all the regions in Australia where there were little to no childcare spaces available for children.

Places available in Dubbo surrounds were less than 0.018 per child. Bathurst surrounds, the places were 0.0011. In Orange surrounds, things are a little better with a 0.18 of a spot available per child.

But these are exceptionally tough odds. In Dubbo surroundings between five and 10 families could be competing for the same place at a daycare.

If you do have to rely on your parents or in-laws, you can't get the kind of subsidy you can access through daycare either. If you go through an in-home care scheme with Centrelink, you can't pay a family member for childcare.

So this means you either need your parents or in-laws not to be working or you need to locate a non-related, trusted adult to care for your child, which is a whole other kettle of fish.

I know, because I've investigated this as a care option for my second-born when he couldn't get childcare.

It is impossible for everyone involved.

On Wednesday, the federal government announced more incentives to excite people to work in the childcare centre. Including a $1 billion fund to build Early Childcare Education Centres in the outer suburbs and regional Australia and extended subsidies. This is on top of the 2022 Cheaper Child Care package and the 15 per cent pay rise for childcare workers announced in August.

This doesn't address the gap right now.

I hope, during the festive season, grandparents are able to spoil the little people in their lives and parents can have a break from worrying about who or where is going to look after their kid that week.

And, fingers crossed, by this time in 2025 it's a different narrative.